Table of Contents

How to develop your best self

You are the only one that can manage your own mental and emotional capacity as a person. No one else can do this for you. It is a vital part of self-management because you can only manage what you are aware of. That which you are not aware of might manage you!

According to the Oxford dictionary, self-management can be defined as the management of or by oneself; the taking of responsibility for one’s behaviour and well-being.

Self-Management is the ability to manage one’s actions, thoughts, and feelings in flexible ways to get the desired results. Optimal self-management contributes to a sense of well-being, a sense of self-efficacy or confidence, and a sense of connectedness to others. (Ott, n.d.)

Ways to develop your best self:

1. Implement a growth mindset - always think bigger

It is a real strength to keep in mind that setbacks are temporary and that you have the skills and abilities to combat the challenges you face. You will be better equipped to face challenges if you have a growth mindset. 

A growth mindset is a way of seeing yourself and the world around you. It’s a belief that your capability is not fixed. You can learn, you can grow, and you can improve. You’re not bound by your inherent level of capability. 

If you look at the world through a growth mindset perspective, you understand that your talent, intellect, brain, and your capability is just the starting point. They do not define the outcome. They do not limit you. They are not fixed. All the interaction with the world is a source of learning and growth and finding ways to stretch those skills and capabilities.

2. Boost your self-motivation

If you are not going to get up and make the changes yourself, no one is going to do it for you! You need to be your biggest and your best motivator! 

Self-motivation allows you to use your emotions to affect positive change in your life through the dedicated pursuit of your goals, no matter the obstacles in your way. This process requires you to employ your emotions toward near-complete positivity, optimism, confidence, and persistence. It is essential that you release the negative emotional reactions to achieve self-motivation.

3. Believe in yourself

One of the most important ways to improve yourself is to believe in yourself. You can apply all the techniques in the world, but if you do not believe in a better version of yourself, you are wasting your time. Look at yourself in a positive light and search for ways to improve your self-esteem. Self-esteem can be viewed as a sort of measure of how much you value, approve of, appreciate, or like yourself.

4. Set goals

The first step in setting a goal is to consider what you want to achieve. Then you need to commit to it. Once you have set a realistic goal, you provide yourself with the motivation to achieve it.

A goal gives a sense of direction when working to achieve something, motivates you when you achieve those goals, and provides self-control over your future, after all, you are the one setting your own goal!

If you are not on track, or where you thought you may have been, do not consider yourself a failure, get back up, readjust, and continue to work toward the goal. 

A goal without a plan is quite simply a dream. The moment you put a deadline on your dream it becomes a goal! – Napoleon Hill

5. Focus on you

Feel like you are doing a million things at once? Your mind is racing between what you are busy with, what you still need to do, and what you haven’t done yet. Are we the generation capable of doing many things at once, without enjoying any of them?

It is important to delegate when you are feeling the need. Transfer the responsibility to someone else for a change. This will free up your time and allow you to put the focus on yourself! 

It is also important to learn the meaning of the word no. Saying no may be hard, or you may be someone that simply cannot let people down, however, it is important that you learn to say no to people if you simply cannot take on something. 

Be aware of your boundaries. Personal boundaries are essential and extremely helpful to be aware of and know and react when they are being crossed. 

Focus on yourself, say no when you need to, and make others aware when they are crossing a boundary.

6. Accept challenges

To be a better version of yourself, you will need to step outside of your comfort zone. Define what your comfort zone entails and what is needed to get out of it, then do it. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but your self-esteem will get a boost when you learn to live outside of your comfort zone, a place full of challenges and rewards. This allows you to grow. Sometimes, things might not go according to plan. It is important that you do not stew over the mistakes or let them negatively impact you. You will not get anywhere in life without taking a risk, and sometimes the outcomes are not as we planned.

Accept new challenges thrown your way and know that it is okay to be afraid and to have fears sometimes, or even often. When fear presents itself, allow yourself to feel the fear, but keep on going anyway. Self-esteem, the belief in ourselves, and growth are often found during our deepest desires and our greatest fears. Overcoming fear and achieving something challenging greatly enhances self-esteem and self-growth. See opportunities as challenges and don’t be afraid of taking risks.

7. Let go of failures

Learn how to tolerate your failures in order to grow. It is not a nice feeling when we fail, however, when we allow ourselves to fail, we can see the failure as an opportunity to learn and from there, to grow. Remember that to fail means that you at least tried and trying is better compared to not having participated at all.

8. Improve strengths

Every person has individual strengths and weaknesses. It is very important that you are able to focus on your strengths more than your weaknesses and build on those strengths. In saying that, it is important that you don’t give up when you are not good at something and view your weaknesses as challenges that you can work on to build, grow and improve.


When it comes to self-improvement, start small. A drastic change can often result in feelings of inadequacy. Keep in mind that some days might be harder than others, the trick is to persevere. The more you try and the more ways you implement these changes, the better version of yourself you will become.

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